The Five Times Bones Proposed and the One Time Jim Proposed Back
by readithoney
Summary: How much can one man take?


**The Five Times Bones Proposed and the One Time Jim Proposed Back**

**First**

**...**

"Oh, lord'a'mercy," Bones moaned, stabbing another overloaded forkload of crumbly, golden crust and sugary cooked peaches. The hot, gelatinous pie goo mingled with the vanilla bean ice cream perfectly, creating a dish that mixed textures and temperatures that melted against the tongue. This, after one of the best steaks he'd had in over a year, red skinned potatoes swimmin' in butter, and homegrown green beans right from his own garden. He wasn't sure how Jim had managed to lay this spread of food out, or whether he had acquired a kitchen elf or had suddenly become a chef overnight, but Bones took a moment to unbutton his pants before continuing.

"It couldn't possibly be that good," Jim smiled, bursting with pride in himself for planning ahead, following instructions, and picking the perfect combination of foods. He had stayed focused. He read everything several times before performing each task. His feet hurt, he was sweaty, and he had, thus far, successfully hidden the nasty, throbbing, red, blistered burn along the side of his hand from Bones's awareness.

"It _is_ that good, Darlin'," Bones said, pushing another oversized bite of pie past his teeth and letting his shoulders sink and his head rock back a little, closing his eyes in satisfaction.

At just that moment, Jim remembered he'd put a pot of coffee on for dessert. He jumped up, jostling the table in his haste, and ran to pour them each a cup. Bones took it black; Jim liked his with cream. He brought the cups to the table and set Bones's down carefully, with his left, unburnt hand.

Bones looked at the coffee like it was there to rescue him. "Perfect," he sighed, looking over the lip of the cup at Jim as he took his first sip. He was a leather-mouth and preferred his coffee scalding hot. Jim still cradled his, feeling content and successful.

Leaning back in his chair with a throaty, satisfied sigh. Len thought he could fit one last bite of pie down his throat before he was fit to burst. As he swallowed, he grinned and said, "Marry me, Jim?" punctuating the statement with a quick, happy laugh.

Jim's heart jumped up into his throat at the casual mention of marriage. He wasn't sure what to make of it until Bones got up and cleared his dish. Clearly the proposal had been a joke to indicate the food was so good he'd marry him for it. "I'll get that, I'll get it!" Jim insisted, taking the plates from his boyfriend. "You go put your feet up, this was my night for treating you."

He got a quick, peach-flavored kiss in response and Bones took his coffee into the living room.

"Marry me, my ass," Jim muttered softly as he entered the kitchen with the dishes. Facetious proposals aside, this kitchen was a disaster zone and Jim needed to clean it up before Bones saw it and cancelled even his most un-heartfelt wedding bells.

**Second**

**...**

Summer in Georgia and it seemed everyone else was used to the crippling heat except Jim. He sat in the shade and still felt like he was leaking. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that ten paces away was the nice, cool, air conditioned house. Three miles away was a pizza place that delivered. And yet, here they were, sitting next to a hot grill, in the hot heat, eating hot food, shiny and sticky with sweat.

But, then again, Bones at the grill with his adorable apron, metal tongs in one hand turning and tapping the food, a beer locked in the fingers of his other hand, his laugh barking out across the yard, well that was worth the mosquito bites. Jim leaned his elbow on the picnic table and laid his sweaty forehead against his palm and watched with a grin.

"Admiring your prize?" Ny asked, her hand in the bowl of chips. She gave him a cocky, challenging look that would have been construed as seduction to anyone who didn't know them.

Jim's smiled around his dimples, but not his eyes, playing the game and fixing her with a deadpan gaze. He drawled out his words, "My prize? I am pretty sure I'm the trophy in this relationship." He preened like a golden peacock until she hit him square in the forehead with a grape from the wilting fruit salad.

Bones had heard that last comment, too and was squinting over at them, his ears on high alert. He felt he could leave the grill a moment to mingle, kneeling one knee on the bench seat next to Jim and placing a hand in his hair. "It's a golden trophy. I mustah won first place." he smiled, planting a kiss in Jim's hair, his face lingering in the thick locks.

Jim batted at him playfully; he was self-conscious of his sweaty hair. It was unfair that Bones smelled delicious despite the heat. Like charcoal and pine and something sweet and spicey under all of it. Jim leaned his back into him and looked up, "Your weenies are burnin'."

Bones cursed and ran back over to the grill, rescuing the meat for the most part while Jim grinned at him and laughed. He got up and drew another beer out of the cooler, wiping the water off the bottle on the hem of his t-shirt and popping the top off against the edge of the table. The cap flew up and away into the grass. Jim took a draw from the bottle then handed it over to Bones and slid up under his arm, looking down at the sizzling grill.

"Thanks, darlin'," Bones said, giving Jim a squeeze while still holding the tongs.

"Told you I was the prize," he said, giving Ny a smirk. She was still at the table and had been joined by Spock and Scotty. Her still perfect makeup somehow withstood the Georgia heat and she didn't even seem to be glowing with sweat. Nor did Spock who wore a long sleeve shirt despite the weather. Jim wondered if he was just naturally better suited for the constant chill of space. While everyone widely regarded the Enterprise as a massive, weaponized refrigerator, he felt comfortable in the manufactured climate and constant filtered, moving air of his starship.

"Burgers are up!" Bones called, hipping Jim to the side playfully and pointing to the buns. Jim grabbed them and opened them one at a time so Bones could slide the patties inside. "You can get one from my lovely assistant here," he announced to mediocre chuckles.

Jim grumbled, "It's a good thing you're cute," setting the patties on the table.

"You think I'm cute?" Bones asked, astonished, "I better put a ring on your finger before you get away. Whaddaya say, kid?" More awkward laughter from Bones, who seemed nervous suddenly and turned back to the grill.

Jim held a burger stationary in front of his closed lips, looking hard at the back of Leonard's head. Everyone was chatting and laughing and soon his attention was pulled away, back to the group chat. But a tugging feeling in his chest remained.

**Third**

******...**

It was all about those eyes at a time like this. Well okay, it was also about the lips, too, and that hot, wet mouth, and the little noises in his throat, and the way his hands gripped at Len's back and ribs, held on possessive and desperate. But fuck, those blue eyes looking up, welling with tears from the push of Len's cock against the back of his tongue.

It was all he could do to keep from thrusting his hips up into Jim's mouth. As it was, his fingers were knotted into that golden mane and he was testing the limits of his lover's gag reflex. Suddenly, with a shift of those blue "fuck me" eyes, Jim swallowed down further, his tongue spasming under the press of the shaft. "Dar-lin', Ahm ga-gonna-gonna," Bones said, his fingers twisting hard in Jim's hair.

Jim worked tirelessly, his eyes still locked with Len's as he drew back along the length, pulling the release from Bones and swallowing the first surge hastily before it was overwhelming. He smeared at his mouth with the back of his wrist and smiled.

Bones pulled him up off the floor and onto the couch, kissing him and tasting the remnants of his own flavor tucked into Jim's satin cheeks.

"Good?" Jim asked, nipping at Bones's neck and enjoying the way he breathed hard, spent from orgasm and limp against the couch.

"Marry me?" Len asked breathlessly, beggingly, his eyes closed and head rolled back.

Jim's pink mouth hung open like he'd just been punched. His mouth felt like cotton. He licked his tongue out along his lips and nearly manipulated his mouth to speak when Bones sat up and stretched and smiled. "Let's move this show to the bedroom," he grinned, patting Jim's ass and popping up.

He climbed the stairs two at a time, stopping to call playfully after Jim to, "Hurry on up!"

Jim flopped to the side and buried his face in the couch and pressed a muffled growl of frustration into the fabric. He really thought that one was real.

**Fourth**

******...**

Jim knew some bars played country music. Where they were in Georgia, every bar played country music with no exception. He was getting used to it, even starting to like it. What he wasn't used to was the southern charm that oozed out of every person in every room. He liked his bars surly, his music thumping, and his manners questionable.

That's why the sweet gentleman in the western wear who had bought him two, count 'em, two drinks wasn't picking up on Jim's less-than-subtle hints. Bones was across the room chatting with some old friends and sharing a pitcher. Jim had opted out, wanting some time to read his book and eat crinkle fries covered in cheese in peace. Thus far, he'd read the same sentence twelve times. When the nice gentleman wouldn't stop, he finally closed his book with a thud and turned in his chair.

"Look, sir," he said, his blue eyes sincere and focused, "I appreciate the drinks. You didn't need to buy them for me. But I am really not interested and I'm already attached. Please, I just want to read my book."

The man gave him a friendly smile and slapped him on the back. "Well why didn't you just say so?"

Jim had said so in six different ways now. The fans were spinning too slow in the humidity of the bar and stirred the air in the room pitifully and ineffectively. The doors were propped open and a slew of large, hard shelled beetles could be seen in the lights outside, occasionally finding their way in only to be pummeled by the ceiling fans like cricket bats.

"What you reading?" the persistent man asked, leaning in to see and inhaling deep through his almost whistling nostrils. Jim was gonna throw up beer soaked french fries on this guy if he didn't stop.

"The book is called, _The Creepy Guy Who Couldn't Take a Fucking Hint,_" he snapped, his own words sounding vicious to his ears. He'd been driven to this point, though.

"Is it any good?" the man asked, Jim could feel the guys erection poking into his side lightly through his pants. No one was this stupid. It had to be an act. Jim was ready to throw a punch.

He turned in his chair, bumping into the intoxicated suitor and scanned the room for Bones. They locked eyes and Jim sent him a message with his face that Len correctly interpreted as a demand for assistance.

Bones excused himself and sauntered over, as he reached them he bellowed, "James Kirk, I've had all I can take of your games!"

Jim turned to look at him horrified for a moment. Bones had a twinkle in his eye that almost never meant anything but trouble or very good sex. At the moment, Jim wanted neither of those things. He wanted french fries and reading. "Bones…," he said, shaking his head fast. His stalker turned to watch Bones with a cockeyed frown.

In fact, everyone was watching. Bones occasionally liked an audience. Usually when he was swimming in beer. He dropped to one knee in front of Jim and looked up at him with the sweetest eyes his boyfriend had ever seen. "Baby, I have to tie you down, I can't stand to see you flirting in front of me like this. You're being cruel. Please, marry me? Say you'll marry me, kid, I can't imagine my life without you!"

_Here comes those fries…_ Jim looked a little dumbstruck. "Um...okay," he said, flushing. A cheer went through the bar and Bones rose and locked his lips over Jim's.

The cowboy moved on, not wanting to be part of this scene anymore. He left and got in his truck and took off.

Bones watched him go and mounted the stool beside Jim with a chuckle. He knocked on the counter and politely asked for a beer. "You okay now?" Len asked Jim, his eyes sliding over to his friends who were waiting.

Jim nodded, but his heart was thumping like a club mix and his scalp was prickled with tension.

Bones took his beer and leaned over to give Jim a kiss on the cheek and headed back to his buddies. Jim turned to stare at his book. He didn't feel like reading. His fries were cold and disgusting, the thought of them officially turned his stomach.

He was grateful to Len for getting that guy off his back, but a fake proposal wasn't what he had in mind. He picked up his book and retreated to a dark corner for privacy. Nursing his chewed up feelings, he knew that it wasn't fair to judge Len when he was wasted.

**Fifth**

******...**

The ferris wheel at the peach festival was not the largest one Jim had ever seen but it was certainly the jankiest one. Jim didn't trust it even a little bit but he wanted on it because he couldn't think of anything more romantic than a ferris wheel. Not even those little boats pushed along by singing Italians could beat the view from the top of a ferris wheel. Or at least that is what television and movies had led him to believe.

"Looks like it's missin' a few bolts," Len said, his face a deep crease of disgust as he looked up at the ricketty contraption. "You know this thing travels all over the country, Jimmy, what if they set it up wrong and it falls over?"

Jim grabbed his hand and dragged him to the ticket booth, twisting his tongue into a blue puff of cotton candy with a grin.

Bones knew this was a situation where he was going to submit to Jim's will no matter what. So it was better to accept it and hope they lived.

They climbed into the rusted car and it rocked as they sat down. Len distrusted it instantly. The bar clicked over their laps was loose and sticky and as the wheel jerked forward to let the next couple on, the whine of metal was sharp and their swaying cart made Len turn a little green. Every time Jim fidgeted, they rocked on rusted bolts.

"Hold still, dammit," Bones demanded, his chest puffed from holding his breath and his spine rigid.

Jim smiled at him with lips dyed blue from the cotton candy. They rose ever higher until they were at the very top. Jim jerked to look over the edge, the cart swayed heavily and Bones reached over and grabbed hold of the waist of Jim's pants, hauling him back down into the seat hard. The cart shuddered. Bones gave him a manic look, his eyes bugging under his cocked eyebrows, "Are you crazy? _Dammit, Jim!_"

Jim had to chuckle. He slid close up to Bones, put his hands on both sides of his face, and kissed the tense man. Jim's cotton candy lips calmed Bones enough to stop holding his breath. "We're safe, Bones, we're fine," Jim chided softly, releasing Len's ears and gripping his hand, "You spend most the year in space, McCoy, and you're afraid of a little carnival ride."

"I'm not afraid for the ride, I'm afraid your foolish ass is gonna fall over the edge!" Bones snapped.

"Ah Bones, you worry too much."

"You don't worry enough, Jim."

They sat in silence, still holding hands tight in the beating sun as the wheel moved again. Jim felt Bones's hand tighten in his own. Disliking the idea of Bones's discomfort, no matter how silly, Jim nuzzled closer and placed a hand on Bone's tummy. "How long do you think this ride is?" Jim asked lewdly, running his hand down over the front of Len's pants and finding his penis through the fabric. He gave it a little heft.

Trapping the younger man's wrist and pulling it off his crotch, Bones gave him a wry look and simply said, "No."

"You're no fun," Jim said, his hand returning defiantly to Len's traitorous cock, which was plumping steadily.

Bones gave Jim's hand a slap and shifted in his seat, causing another nauseating rock of the car. "Fun is not getting arrested for indecent exposure at a carnival and havin' ta tell the neighbors we're low level sex offenders."

"This was supposed to be romantic," Jim huffed as the cart started moving in earnest, slowly and smoothly turning with all the carts full.

"Okay, I'll say romantic things," Bones said dryly. He turned and held onto Jim's hand. "I love you, Jimmy. You make me want to be a better man. When you were born, heaven lost an angel. I see the stars in your eyes." Everything he said came out awkward and loud, his pissy tone putting punchy emphasis on the end of clauses.

Jim punched him in the arm but smiled. "That's what a guy gets for offering a handjob these days?"

"A handjob on a kiddy ride? Yes," Bones stole a kiss. The steady movement of the wheel made him feel better, no jerking and stopping and swaying. "You want more romance? You are my everything, darlin'. Lovin' you is like breathin'. If I was a smart man I'd marry you right now!"

Jim grinned brilliantly and ride jerked to a halt. They were the first on so they were the first off. The unamused carny opened the door and ushered them out.

"Wait," Jim said, "Just wait." He held his arm up to the man working the ride. He turned his attention back to Len.

"Get off the ride, Jim," Bones said, chuckling and shoving at Jim.

The man working the ride said, "C'mon buddy, I'm runnin' a business here!"

Jim sighed and slid off the ride. Bones had to run to catch up with him and hook his arm, unsure of what had Jim in such a tizzy. He felt bad that his teasing had gone too far. He spun him around and smothered him with a kiss, desperate to chase away the hurt in those blue eyes.

Bones had to win Jim a teddy bear and a pet fish before those sparkles came back to his baby blues.

**Final**

******...**

The rain was a welcome reprieve from the summer heat. It was still hot as hell, but the moment the fat drops began to fall, the temperature dropped a good ten degrees. Jim sat on the porch swing, enjoying the dull drumming on the porch roof and the cool wet splashes that made their way to his legs. Also, the first breeze he'd felt in a month that didn't come from a ceiling fan made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

Leonard came out and handed him a sweet tea, sitting beside him on the swing and opening his arm as Jim nestled himself against the good doctor who smelled like sunshine on skin.

"Nice rain," Bones said, and Jim smiled into the vibrations of his deep Georgian voice ringing out from his chest. It was a comfort to rest his ear on Len's torso and listen to him talk.

Jim nodded his response. It had been an amazing summer, one he would never forget. A much needed reprieve from space, but it was calling to him again and he knew, soon enough, they'd be called back to the void. It filled him with mixed emotions and he stirred restlessly in his seat.

"What is on your mind, kid?" Bones ran his fingers down Jim's arm soothingly. Burbling thunder broke the sky.

"Thinking about the stars," Jim sighed, "Since I joined starfleet, I've sorta considered space my real home. The ship, the people, you know."

"Mmmm," Len said, his gripping Jim tighter because that was just the saddest thing. Curse whoever didn't give this beautiful young soul a proper port.

"But now," Jim continued, "I dunno. This has really felt a lot like a home, too. In a different way." Jim thought long and hard and pushed himself up so he could look Bones in the eyes, "I've had a great summer with you, Len."

Bones gave him a steady, serious look, waiting for the inevitable, _but…_

"But…" Jim said.

Bones felt his heart clutch. He sat up slightly his long legs sweeping the ground and halting the slight pendulum of the swing. The rain suddenly seemed to be blocking the oxygen.

Jim's blue eyes looked wet with emotion. Bones scanned his brain for things he might have done wrong. Things he shouldn't have said and done. Much to his dismay, he found plenty of good examples. "Jim, I-"

Jim put his fingers over Bones's mouth, "No listen to me," Jim said, "All summer you've outright teased me about marriage. You mentioned it over and over again. I thought I was going out of my mind."

Bones had numb tongue and he had no idea how to fix it. He felt like punchin' himself.

"I'm so tired of waiting for you to mean it," Jim practically scolded. He stood up.

"Don't go!" Bones pleaded, hopping up, the boards under his bare feet felt gritty, warm, and wet. He put his hands on Jim's shoulders and hung his head, "At least...wait for the rain to let up, kid."

Jim gave him a hard look. It almost seemed like a dare. Then, he lowered himself to his knee. He collected one weathered, legendary hand. Dirt under the nails from rooting around in the garden, scars and scrapes, soft, deft, warm dips and lines, and strength all in the patterned skin. Jim leaned his cheek into the warm pad of Len's palm, nuzzling into it and kissing the fingers where they creased.

"Will you marry me, Bones?" he asked, his blues shocked up to meet the earthy colors wet with tears. Then he smirked around his thick lips and added, "And I'm fucking serious. I fucking mean it."

"Course," Bones whispered, "Yes." He rushed to his knees, too, meeting Jim's lips with an urgency he usually saved for a medical emergency and a sloppiness he almost never allowed.

Jim pushed him back hard, surprising him and Bones hit the deck of the porch with a thud. "Dammit, Jim!" he shouted, having really been enjoying that kiss.

Jim grinned and crawled over the top of him clumsily, plopping himself down on Len's stomach ceremoniously. This elicited a small _oof_ noise from Len. "That is for being a giant tease," he said, leaning forward and kissing his newly-established fiancé.

Bones waited for the kid to break for air and shifted him up enough to dig his wallet out. He opened a compartment and fished out two rings. Jim stared as he slid off Len's tummy to sit on the porch beside him.

"Bought 'em at the beginning of the summer and I've chickened out every goddamned time."

He slid the ring on Jim's finger and the other on his own. "Thanks for having the courage I didn't."

Jim smiled and explained in a sing-songy voice, "That's why _I'm_ the captain."

Leonard yanked him forward by the front of his shirt and kissed him.


End file.
